I need help I know. Cyber-friends I shared my feelings with said they were not surprised at all I had anxieties of this kind. They all went through various level of irrational thoughts, which apparently comes with motherhood, and in most cases had a "natural" pregnancy with no infertility attached, let alone ectopic pregnancies or traumatic birth. So I should have known, in fact I should have been prepared. I wasn't. I don't want to be one of those mothers that never let the son go out in case he has an accident. I would hate myself and certainly I was always allowed a significant level of freedom (I went on several holidays on a superfast motorbike for God's sake...). So as I will bring Oliver to the doctor next week for his 2 months vaccination (two months!!) I'll talk to her and see if she can refer me to a therapist.
Meanwhile I bought another monitor...for travelling to Italy in March...as I can't bring my Angelcare sensor system...so I got myself a Snuza (thanks Tireegal!) and I hope it'll help.
Oliver is doing great, putting on weight, sleeping through the night (though grunting from 5am till 8!) loving his bath and smiling more regularly! He hates being on his tummy so we don't do it much at all. He's now very happy to be without a nappy (he used to cry a lot when changed, I thought he didn't like to be naked!). The dirty nappies have totally ended, in fact we went to the other side of the scale with a day with no poo at all!! ...which of course had me worrying the other way as he seemed unsettled! Till he pooed for Ireland...
Here's my little man growing
Oh no! Is it over already?
I'll just dream of the next one then!